Writing, riding and big city life
I am ready to write, ready to put thoughts onto paper and create a dance of words. Letters moving around with an inexplicable drive to become one. I used to write stories, now there is silence on paper while stories pile up in my mind. Motorbike adventures, beautiful places, a little boy reaching out to a stranger, political frustrations and an endless urge to live every moment of my life with relentless energy and joy. I suppose much of my silence started with the realisation that at times people are actually reading what I write. My blog used to be my diary of positivity, now the perfectionist in me is scared and self-doubt rules every letter I put on paper. ‘Does it make any sense?’, ‘What the hell am I writing?’ Let’s just stop. Every excuse is a good one. It’s time to change that now.
Today I am forced to stay inside because of the terrible weather and to be honest, my motorcycle riding gear leaks like a sieve. Within 10 minutes I am soaked up to my underwear. I actually like riding through the wind and the rain, it gives me a certain feel of freedom and wild completeness, but not in my current outfit. Of course there is a solution to every problem. Now that I have saved together a little money again I will solve this problem: starting with a motorcycle jacket and trousers I will buy myself a proper piece of motorcycle gear every month. Actually I already have a decent helmet, boots and summer gloves, so I’m not that bad off.
Sadly I will have to miss my motorbike for two weeks as I am heading over to Paris for work. It’s a little scary, but I am also looking forward to it. As I am not that much of a city person I am incredibly happy to have found a place to stay South of Paris and close to a nature reserve. All I will have to do is hop on a train in the morning and it will take me directly to the heart of the city of love. I’ve only really been to Paris once and I can’t say I fell in love with the city. I liked it, but it was still just a big capital with dirt lying around, busy people running from one place to another and tourists taking photographs. Let’s see if it can enchant me this time. I certainly hope so. What I do know for sure is that it will be a whole new experience with a new world opening up to me. When I am on the road alone I am somehow much more aware of the world around me. Small things that happen draw my attention. Every feeling is more intense. Maybe that makes me vulnerable, maybe that makes me strong and maybe it doesn’t really matter as it makes me feel alive. Suddenly I am a nobody to everybody around me. We are always a nobody to somebody, but often don’t like such thoughts. It may sounds strange, but isn’t there beauty in being anonymous? People can’t judge you for who you are, people can’t hurt you and you can become whoever you would like to be. Suddenly you are no longer defined by what you have, how you live or what you do.
When being in a city I love watching people go by and think about the lives they have. Every single person you see has a story, a life, a pain and a reason to smile. It’s a story you’ll never know, yet it is there. Hidden below the surface of anonymity. A closed book only showing its cover. It makes me curious. I want to know people’s stories. I want to know your story. What drives you, what hurts you and what are your dreams? Maybe I’ll never know or maybe we’ll meet one day. Up till that day, let’s embrace life! Dance while there may be a storm coming and share a moment with another nobody.
