Unsatisfiable
Roaring inside. Running. Riding. Silent and untameable in its restlessness it consumes me. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Anger. Determination. Unspeakable words dancing on its own and flying with the wind. Small deeds to feel alive. In the morning, after getting out of bed, I go outside to take a plunge in the deep, pouring rainwater over myself. Cold it trickles down my body. Burning. Reminding me that there is a world outside. Reminding me that, if I put my mind to it, I can do whatever I want. Reminding me that the mind is all you need to get something done. Reminding me that I am the cornerstone of my own life. Without me, whatever I do will crumble. I run till my head turns silent and all I can feel is one foot moving in front of another. I ride till every muscle in my body relaxes and sing out loud while dreaming of distant mountains appearing along the way.
Life isn’t meant to be as comfortable as it is. I thrive when I’m cold, when the wind is blowing and rain is pouring down. Not that I enjoy it, but it makes me smile with every fibre of my being. Not a smile reassuring people that I am okay, but a smile filled with never-ending joy.
