The girl behind the helmet
Seeing a woman on a bike, people at times get the image of a fearless human being who strides forward, head up high, eyes locked on the horizon, knowing exactly what she wants from life. Instead, within the helmet, sits a little girl, curious to the world around her. A girl with crazy ideals and endless dreams. A girl that is often disappointed in the world around her and a girl that believes everything is possible. A girl that refuses to give up. A girl that questions every step she takes and wanders where life will end up taking her. There are moments I feel strong and invincible, but not much later these are followed by loneliness, tears and doubt. I suppose that’s how life goes. Eventually it is the lows that teach us to appreciate the good. Feeling down I sometimes hop on my bike and ride wherever my bike will carry me. I suppose you could say I ride to escape myself, but I would rather say I ride to catch up with myself, to feel, to remember and to be free. Seeing the dust being kicked up by my wheels, feeling my bike move and slither and hearing a silent roar I know I will be fine. We all run from one place to another worrying about the next, yet there is so much to be lived in the present. That’s probably what I love the most about riding my motorbike. It’s all about here and now. Nothing else matters. Whatever the road ahead may be, rivers, rock formations or boggy terrain, you know that one way or another you will get through. There is such a strength in knowing you can combat the road ahead. We are human beings. May it be the best of times or the worst of times, we endure. We get bogged down, we fight our way back up and ultimately we thrive.
Some time ago it felt like I had hit rock bottom. Silently I suffered. I was so tired I got sick of myself. There seemed nobody around who could understand what I was feeling. I kept silent and did what had to be done. I went to work, went to the shops and dropped down on the couch after which I dragged myself to bed and pushed the repeat button. All I needed was some time. Here comes the truth, I am one of the lucky ones. Doing a PhD I have more holiday than most people. I used this chance and took myself a week to enjoy the life I am living. I went camping, rode my bike, watched a movie, cooked some good food, watched the sunset from our hammock on the balcony and smiled. Every day I felt stronger and knew I would be just fine.
Sometimes life is at its best when lived at its basics.
