Home alone
Amazing how much time you have when you are home alone. It is not lonely. Rather it is time to be yourself. I would even say it is good to know how to be alone. It reminds you of who you are, what defines you and what you want from life. Being alone reminds you that actually, you never really are. It lets you appreciate the people in your life and notice those that really care. Because let’s be honest, many things are unequal in this world, but time is not one of them. Each and every one of us has 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. The only difference is the choices we make on how the spend it and who to spend it with.
For the past month I have mainly spent my time working and cleaning out the place I have been living in together with my boyfriend for the past 5 years. Finally we have moved out and found a cute little room the size of a tea pot for two. A place in which you mostly cannot stand up straight as the roof tends to be too low. Let’s say it will be a challenge to cohabitate in such a small place and probably will end with the both of us longing for some time home alone. We have one chair left to share and no sofa to sit on, ready to leave everything behind for our journey. Even though the room may be small, the view is magnificent and the window becomes the perfect place to sit down and watch the sun colour the horizon. When you open the windows at both sides of the room a summer breeze comes along and when lying in bed with your eyes closed it is easy to imagine being on a faraway beach, a close by meadow, a high up mountain top or a ship combatting the waves at sea. Just this simple touch, this feeling can make me intensely happy. It passionately makes me appreciate the beauty of life and the opportunities along the way. I wish I could spread this feeling, make people understand that life is good. Make people understand that it is appreciating the seemingly insignificant things that makes life beautiful. Beautiful things don’t ask for attention, they’re modestly there waiting to be seen. Don’t get me wrong, of course I am not always optimistic and of course I struggle. I am tired, I am sad, I am angry, I am annoyed, I cry, I am in doubt, but who isn’t from time to time? In contrast I smile, I enjoy, I am happy, I sing, I am peaceful and I secretly dance.
Today was a good day. Not because it started off well, since, let’s be honest, how can a day start well if you need to get up at 6 in the morning after hardly any sleep. More it went well because I enjoyed riding my bicycle, because I heard amazing stories from people during my work at the shop in the hospital and because of the face of a lady when I told her she had won 500 euro with the lotto. Never before did I see so much doubt, so much distrust and so much happiness on one face at the same time. Even after I had handed her the money she did not believe it was real. Seeing someone so surprised, so confused and so happy was a wonderful sight.
All people you meet at work start of as strangers, but somehow some impact your life, even just for a short moment in time while others pass by as if they were never there.
Life, an entanglement of different paths, some related closer to each other than others depending on choices, circumstances and random coincidence. Who will remain, who will pass by or who will linger in your in thoughts all influences the web of lives coming together and splitting up again.
