A piece of me

We finally left Kovalam. I am not sure if it was my heart or my stomach aching when we drove away, but anyway it resulted in some secret tears running down my face nicely hidden away below my helmet. I hate crying in public so a helmet perfectly protects me against that in addition to the plausible head injuries if I would fall. People don’t always realize it, but if I care about them, I really care about them deeply and letting go is hard. It feels like losing another little piece of myself. Slowly I lose myself to the world, to the beautiful people I meet along the way and for who I care and feel deeply. It must imply that something must be true about the saying: ’Home is where you are’. Home is everywhere where you can be with people you care about. Following this philosophy the world can easily become your home.

The last few nights I have been feeling restless. It takes hours to fall asleep simply because my body refuses to calm down, but figuring out why doesn’t seem the easy part. Stressed for our big adventure ahead? In doubt of what I expect from the days ahead? Wondering what I expect from my future, what I want from life apart from travelling? Stressed to leave without having the official papers of one of the motorcycles? That sounds quite plausible. I don’t like it at all, but what can you do? We stayed in Kovalam for more than a month while we were able to buy our motorcycles after only one week. All the rest of the time we have been waiting for the paperwork and discovering the South of India, but when you are able to recognize nearly all the photos on the postcards you can be quite sure that you have been at one place for too long. Not that I don’t want to come back, more of the contrary, secretly I am already planning when I could come and stay here for a bit longer. Relax, practice my surfing, discover the beautiful surroundings and enjoy the good company. So many homes to return to, so many people I will always carry with me in my heart and if you are reading this you are probably one of them. I think that is the hard part of travelling, letting go. Every day I think of so many people that mean something for me without always knowing if I even ever meant something to them, but does that really matter? Maybe life is more about what you can give instead of what you gain. If we are honest that is the only thing we can really control, what we give to others, how we treat them and not how they treat you. The people who really care won’t suddenly disappear, the others are maybe not worth the fight to keep them in your life.

The past month made me realize another difficult part of travelling, more specifically about travelling together with somebody you care about such as your boyfriend. Easily you end up seeing each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, something that is hardly ever the case when living at home. Even though you then may be living together, during the day you are often out for work, studying or seeing friends. In addition, when travelling, you are confronted with the best, but also the worst parts of each other without being able to escape. You have to continue, get through it, talk and find a solution that works for both. Luckily this is facilitated by events that rapidly bring you back together. A perfect example is simply going to a gas station to fill up the motorcycles. I suppose you are currently wondering how this can be eventful in any way, well, here it goes. After filling up the bikes we payed with a note of 2000 inr (Indian Rupee) and had to get back 740 inr. Instead of giving our money back a lady working there suddenly refused the money because there was a miniscule little bit of writing on it. Nobody had seen it till the money reached her hands. We didn’t have any other note nor card within reach to pay such an amount of money. Result? We were stuck there for at least half an hour while she told her story to every possible person passing by. As nearly everybody said she should just accept the money, she finally gave us back the money we deserved, or at least that is what we thought. When we counted it carefully she still had to give us 50 inr more. Reason? Oh, that was the damage we had to pay for the little writing on the note. After even more discussion and finally threatening we would call the police if she would continue like that, we got our money. Only in India! But exactly after such events there is nothing better than to be able to talk and laugh about such craziness with someone you care about.

Life, travelling through time without being able to turn back. Don’t regret the path you chose and adapt along every step. Love intensly, smile full of joy, care unconditionally, take a deep breath and open your eyes to the world we all live in.