The happiness of being
After 4 fours of commuting going from the place where I was staying to my work in Paris and back again I was honestly frustrated with myself. Why didn’t I just book a place closer by my work? How did I ever think this would be a good idea? Then I opened my window and looked outside. The smell of nature came flying in. Suddenly I remembered, that was exactly why. Instead of exhaust fumes I could smell trees and green grass. Instead of being in a vast forest of cement I was in a little village with cobblestones lining the roads and houses that missed out on modernisation. Instead of big streets I had a river in front of my window. When I got up at 6 o’clock in the morning I could see mist rising from the water. Silent and peacefully the world would wake up without worrying about time gone by. It made me realise I should do the same. I may only arrive back home late in the evening and it may seem that there is no time left to discover the place, but it’s not about the amount of time. It’s about the quality of it. It doesn’t matter how I spend it, it will slip through my fingers anyway. It’s about the joy it may bring to me. That’s exactly what life should be about. About living and loving every step along the way. After this realisation I enjoyed my early morning bicycle ride to the station, my 40 minute train ride through the forest and into big city life and my walk across the Seine to the metro station. I never learned to enjoy the metro ride though. People squashed together doesn’t seem to do it for me.
Every evening I sat outside on the windowsill with a cup of thee watching the night sky appear. Days were long and I nights were short, but just sitting there I found peace within myself. Jonas was far away and with no friends close-by to turn to I had only myself to accompany me. With my first big presentation ahead I was often stressed and worried, but at such moments I told myself: “Enjoy the moment and don’t worry about the ones to come. Things always turn out exactly as they should be”. It didn’t take away my stress and frustration, but it made me accept what I could not change. Eventually my presentation went really well. So well I was laughing out loud while riding my bicycle back home that evening. I am glad I don’t know what people who saw me come along were thinking. Actually, it doesn’t really matter. They don’t know me and I will probably never know them. Sometimes it’s good to be a little crazy.
Happiness may not be a constant state of being, but accepting life as it is certainly is a good way to get there.
